LMFAO
by tensionandthrill
Summary: Sam and Mercedes spend an afternoon together. Things get frisky. Meanwhile, Kurt finds himself at the wrong place at the wrong time. One shot.


"Sam Evans, what on earth are you doing?"

Mercedes managed to squeal out the question, and then she was falling back against the pillows on the bed, laughing hysterically. The hand thrown against her mouth had no hope of stopping the noises escaping from her as she watched her boyfriend gyrate his body from where he stood next to the bed. _Mess_.

They'd been enjoying a lazy Saturday afternoon in Sam's bedroom at the Hudmel house before they had to meet their friends for dinner and a movie later. It'd been an afternoon of flirty conversation, giggles, soft kissing, and cuddling—that is until _Party Rock Anthem_ had shuffled onto Sam's iPod.

His adoring smile had gone mischievous and he'd jumped up from the bed, grabbing something from his dresser, before disappearing into the bathroom without a word.

Mercedes sat up, her face a picture of pure confusion. It soon became all too clear when, a handful of seconds later, her boyfriend reemerged from the bathroom clad in the tiniest red shorts she'd ever seen, gyrating his way to the iPod dock, and turning up the music.

Her giggling only got worse when he jumped up over her helpless, laughing body—one bare foot on either side of her hips, moving to the beat as he sang the words to the song.

Tears were coming out of her eyes and she struggled to take in a proper breath. Sam was no help, only looking down at her with amusement in his eyes as he danced above her.

Mercedes was begging for pity by the time the body rolling started. He body rolled himself all the way to her hips and then back up. His 'sexy face' as he did, had her downright guffawing and covering her face.

Her stomach was hurting from the exertion and she tugged on his calves while he was mid pelvic thrust to get him to stop. Sam fell toward her willingly, careful not to hurt her.

He held himself above her, knees on either side of her hips and arms locked on either side of her head. Mercedes held him with one hand on his waist and the other one thrown over her eyes as she struggled to control her laughter.

When she could finally take in some air, she moved her hand to the other side of his waist and shook her head at him.

"Well, I can't say I expected that. You are a _mess_."

He only chuckled at her, looking thoroughly amused with himself, and she giggled at him again.

"Stop laughing," he said, moving one of his hands to tickle her belly.

"Stop!" Mercedes yelled, giggling. She writhed underneath him and swatted his hands away.

He smiled down at her, but stopped in favor of placing a chaste kiss on her laughing mouth. "You were supposed to find that sexy," Sam told her. "That was the very best of White Chocolate."

Her eyes widened in amusement, and then she was snickering.

"Oh, is _that_ how you drove the women crazy over in Kentucky?" Mercedes asked between giggles.

"Yes, and they loved every second of it," Sam informed her smugly.

"Did they, now? I bet they were sad to see you go," Mercedes said, a mock pout on her lips.

"Of course! But that's just good news for you," Sam told her, his voice suddenly getting lower. He lowered himself onto her, his body flush with hers. His arms hit the bed on either side of her head, encasing her between them.

"Oh really? How's that?" Mercedes asked, her voice just as low, staring at his face, which was only inches from her own now. She tangled her legs with his, pressing their bodies even closer together, before snaking her arms around his neck.

"You get all the exclusive private performances," Sam whispered against her lips before capturing them in a searing kiss.

Mercedes moaned as he slipped his tongue into her mouth and stroked it against hers in time with gentle thrusts of his hips against hers.

She pulled her lips away from his, breathless, panting out, "No, Sam, we can't," even as her legs fell open a little wider to accommodate his moving hips. She moved her mouth away from his, trying to get him to listen to her.

Sam was undeterred and gave up trying to suck on her lips in favor of kissing her jaw—the grinding movement of his hips never stopping. Mercedes could definitely feel how excited he was getting. She felt a familiar tension starting to build inside of her and moaned again. She helplessly pushed her hips against his.

"Sam," she tried again. Her breathy tone wasn't really doing much to convey that she was trying to make him stop.

"What?" Sam answered, before he moved his efforts to her neck. She felt his tongue on her pulse point, and the delicious pressure of his hips grinding against hers and her heart rate spiked. It was definitely getting harder to breathe.

"Kurt's going to be back in like half an hour. We promised we'd go with him and Blaine tonight," Mercedes tried again, trying to angle her neck away from him, but Sam only directed his efforts to her collar bone.

"We'll be quick," Sam said sliding one of his hands under her shirt and into her bra to cup her breast. Mercedes moaned again as he kneaded it, and helplessly thrust against him again.

He tried to push the shirt up further to get it all the way off, but Mercedes resisted. Sam groaned against the spot on her collar bone he'd been giving his attention in frustration.

"Come on, baby," he whispered, looking up at her. "He went to the mall. You know he's always late coming back from there anyway."

Mercedes tried to consider what he said as Sam went back to kissing her neck and worked his way back up to her mouth for another scorching kiss. His large, calloused hand dipped lower and lower, brushing a sensitive spot low on her hip and her brain started to lose focus.

Sam used her distraction to suddenly roll them over. Before Mercedes knew it, she was straddling her boyfriend and he was pulling off her shirt. From this angle, she got the perfect view of his toned abs and she smiled down at him.

His eyes were cloudy with lust as he sat up and worked his fingers around to unclasp her bra.

"Was this your plan all along?" Mercedes whispered it against his neck, pressing herself into him, after he'd divested her of her bra. "Wear your little short shorts and seduce me?"

Sam chuckled, kissing her neck, one of his hands slipped beneath the elastic of her panties. "And it totally worked," he replied.

He fell back onto the bed, then rolled himself back on top of Mercedes, fully intent on seeing his plan through to the very end.

* * *

Kurt was _mad_. He'd been calling Mercedes and Sam for the past 10 minutes, telling them that he'd wrapped up early at the mall—and he was _starving_, so they needed to get to Breadstix ASAP.

He cast Blaine a frustrated look when the call went to voicemail again. He was sitting in his car outside the Hudmel house. Both Sam and Mercedes cars were parked out front, so he knew they were in there. Why weren't they answering?

He told Blaine he'd be right back, then marched into the house, making a beeline for Sam's room. He could hear some terrible dance music coming through the door as we walked closer, followed by Mercedes' distinct giggling.

Kurt rolled his eyes as he strode to the door. Well, of course they wouldn't be able to hear with that obnoxious music playing so loudly.

He opened the door, ready to scold them. He couldn't see either of them, at first. Then, his face flamed red as a beet when an arm extended from the writhing mass under the blanket on the bed and chucked some tiny red shorts his way. He heard more giggles and it suddenly sunk what he'd walked in on. Mercedes' giggles weren't the goofy kind like he'd thought.

All he saw was the back of Sam's head and Mercedes' hands now woven into the blond's hair. The couple took absolutely no notice of Kurt's presence while he stood there gawking in shock.

Soon, the giggling changed to moaning and Kurt blushed even deeper than he already had been. He finally came back to his senses and quickly pulled the door. He headed out of the house, back into his car.

Blaine took in his boyfriend's crimson face and inquired what was wrong.

Kurt mumbled something about Sam and Mercedes not coming, then blushed harder.

"They're busy," Kurt said louder, then sped off with Blaine shooting him curious looks the entire way.

* * *

**Did you like it? Please review!**

******A/N:** I wrote this back in January for my twinnie **keeponsmilingg** because she had a bad day and I wanted to make her laugh. Hopefully, it made y'all laugh, too.


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